The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
