I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
