addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
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i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
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At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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