C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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