My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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