im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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