Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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