I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
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she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im holly from the hills drunk
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
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I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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