Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
