is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
