why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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