I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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