you guys were way drunker than both of me
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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