i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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