so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
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Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
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Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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