Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
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Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
it's like heaven, but drunker
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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