thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's never too late to be topless.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
