stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
