I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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