where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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