apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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