Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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