Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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