im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
