I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize