You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
