i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Drunk is not a location!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize