He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
