Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
