your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
vagina is talking i cant
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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