Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
