rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My balls are so social today.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
