bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
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Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
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We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize