he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
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He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
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I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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