clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
