I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Houston, we have a squirter
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy