And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina