You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
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I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
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Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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