Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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