im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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