Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
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Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
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Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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