There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
it's great music for shaving your balls
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
