But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
