you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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