I'm going to jail i love you
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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