I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Alive.
So much puke
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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