I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
