I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
