I don't remember. Are we still dating?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
