you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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