Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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