some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
