woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
