I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
