what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
