so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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