Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
