You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
