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• (515): View more from Iowa

  we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day

  Fav 21 4070 1066

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Acid is not a monday night drug

  Fav 44 2028 4518

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.

  Fav 43 1037 6703

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.

  Fav 16 2125 6130

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.

  Fav 19 5378 1383

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.

  Fav 6 1531 826

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier

  Fav 10 1268 774

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition

  Fav 2 1202 700

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.

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• (716): View more from New York

  i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.

  Fav 1 102 29

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.

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