Quick, to the slutcave!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
